Inspiration for Survivors.

The Dog Days Are Over.

2019 is the year I think I became happy, but I did not know it until 2020. 2019 was the first year I found myself thinking about settling down where I was. When I took an internship in D.C. and spent the summer with seven other young, student, twenty-somethings, I missed my life partner as usual, but I also missed Richmond. I never missed a city before.

In early 2020, the coronavirus entered the United States and turned my last-semester of law-school's spring break into months of "social-distancing," an informal, self-quarantine. I was fortunate to live with my partner at the time, but I still worried I'd never be happy because I am always trying to conquer depression. One morning, I woke up earlier than my partner and went through all the photos on his phone. He had so many photos of me, where he caught me in moments of pride, content, and joy - emotions I feared I was missing out on. And it hit me. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I became happy. And I never even realized it. Here was the evidence in my hands, photos of me celebrating gay pride and my own sexuality with the love and support of a great man, holding paintings we bought of animals painted by a local artist, eating fine dishes together, walking through beautiful gardens and museums, picking out our apartments together, memorializing each one, cuddling our two affectionate felines, dancing at concerts, looking at the sky view from the beach, watching dolphins from a boat with our friends, trying new restaurants, trying new recipes, celebrating each holiday, celebrating our accomplishments, capturing the gifs and memes and games that made us laugh.

When you first listen to The Dog Days Are Over, it's hard not to feel a little sad. Is she telling me that things are only about to get harder? But after years of personal growth, I've realized what growth is - you learning to deal with ever-changing circumstances and regardless of the increases in responsibility and trying times, you get better and you become a better warrior. It becomes less of a battle…and more of a beautiful, painful, emotional, joyful dance.